Sarah Boyd


The 9 most powerful questions to get perspective in a difficult situation

The Dark Side Of Intuition

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Our intuition is a deep internal knowing that directs many of us in our decision making. When trusted and proved accurate, intuition is highly impressive while still mysterious. Those who have learned over time to trust it, accredit it with much of their success.

Our intuition is a precious gift that our brains gift us & we need to learn to tune into it more.

(image credit @jshnaaa)

(image credit @jshnaaa)

There is a generalisation that women are more intuitive than men. Although there is some evidence that women’s brains are stronger at understanding non verbal communication (which is thought to contribute to the strength of intuition), both men & women alike have the ability to be intuitive and to tune into it more.


Just like any strength or gift we possess, there is a dark side of intuition that must be managed.


Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder are often reported to have extremely high levels of intuition (or discernment) in regards to others. They seem to have a gift of knowing what is probably going on in the internal private world of others.

Yet because of their characteristic lack of empathy & dysfunctional thinking patterns, they use this information in a distorted and unhealthy way which often makes individuals feel that their personal boundaries have been violated.

Individuals diagnosed with clinical anxiety have also been reported to have doubly strong levels of intuition accuracy. This means that they have a feeling that something is ‘not quite right’ & they are accurate in this assessment 50% more of the time than the general population.


The challenge with having a strong gift of intuition is learning how to navigate it in a manner that builds healthy relationships and doesn’t strengthen anxiety connections in your brain.



1. Realise it is a gift to serve others: don’t use what you think you ‘know’ about others in a way that would threaten them or force them to share private information that they otherwise wouldn’t share with you.

Be respectful & empathetic – show you care & leave the ball in their court. If they want your support, they will reach out.

2. Look for evidence to back up your feelings: your intuition is a good place to start when it comes to making decisions, but it needs to be coupled with rational, analytical information. Otherwise you will just make decisions on feelings.

This is particularly true when it comes to ‘mothers intuition’ – we are the ones that know our children the most and are usually always right when something is wrong. But we must monitor this ‘knowing’ to make sure it is not moving across into unhelpful anxiety and unproductive ‘mothers guilt’.

3. Learn to let it go: when you are almost always ‘right’ with what you sense, it is hard to accept the occasions where there doesn’t seem to be any evidence of accuracy. Unless it is a very serious situation with extreme circumstances, learn to let it go.

4. Trust the process: just because you ‘know’ something doesn’t mean you have to ‘do’ something. Particularly when the situation is outside your circle of influence, just trust that it will all work out in the end.

5. Talk it out: when all your thoughts are internal, talk out your feelings with a trusted sounding board. This process is particularly helpful when the other person is slightly more rationally minded but respects your gift in intuition. They will be able to give good advice on what to trust & what to let go.


Intuition is a precious gift that our brains give us. When we learn to use it in a way that serves others, builds healthy relationships and we don’t get caught up in cycles of anxiety, it is a powerful way of making decisions & navigating life. 

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The 9 most powerful questions to get perspective in a difficult situation.